Everybody But Me
by Gemonie03
Summary: When there's a problem in a relationship at the Red base who do they all turn to to solve their problems? The only one not in a relationship of course! The summary sucks but it's my first attempt at fluff! It's rated T for sexual references and some language but mostly there's just a cute scene with the pyro and the heavy :D Oh and a bunch of other couples of course! :P


**It's my first attempt at writing fluff! Don't judge me too hard please! :D**

Everyone has someone. Everyone but me. I'm not totally alone though, Mr. Pinky-Hooves is always there, but he doesn't cuddle back. Maybe it's the suit. I know it's rather off putting to be confronted with the mask and all the red asbestos but does anyone ever even try? No. They all kind of ignore me and give me pleasant little smiles when I come into the cafeteria or the showers. They don't even talk to me unless they want something. What's a guy to do?

Tonight I'm eating dinner alone, again, then I'll take my shower and then Mr. Pinky-Hooves and I shall crawl into bed with a box of chocolates and watch the newest episode of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic. Mr. Pinky-Hooves loves seeing the other ponies and I like all the colors and the lessons. After that we'll say our prayers and then off to bed. Until then, I'm deathly focused on making sure that everyone gets their candy and everyone shares.

At dinner I watch them all pair off. The spy and the sniper are pretending to hate each other, again while the soldier and the engineer try to make manly banter. The scout is pretending to swat off the demoman while the medic whispers sweet nothings into the heavy's ear. They try to pretend no one knows what happens behind the doors at night but I know. I've always known. It's amazing what you find out when you always watch and never participate.

Shower time! Thankfully the showers are single stalled so I don't feel awkward taking the suit off. I'm sure people think I'm fat. I'm not. I'm actually quite lithe and lean, not in any way muscular. I pat my little pot belly as the first streams of hot water flow over me. My blond hair pokes into my eyes as it gets wet and I quickly swipe it away. Looking into the mirror, every shower has one for shaving (just in case), I gingerly touch the pin-prick scars on my lips and cheeks before lathering my face in shaving cream. I don't really have to, it's not like anyone is going to see the blond five o'clock shadow I bare. I brush my teeth and the half of my tongue I'm still in possession of, when someone rushes into the shower.

"Stupid Cyclops," the Bostonian's voice was not much more than a grumble. I could hear the water in the next stall turn on and the continued grumbling of the younger, not that much younger, man. "Hey, Pyro, you got any shaving cream? I'm out,"

I snap to attention. No one ever talks to me. I grab the can and reach it around the dividing wall of the shower. I feel his fingers touch mine as he takes it. I quickly snapped my arm back before he could notice the thick purple scars that run up my hands and arms.

"So, you actually are a dude, huh?" the question was kind of a stuttered one.

"Yeah," I grabbed my bar of soap and start sudsing up a wash cloth.

"And you talk? Wow, you learn something every day," the boy laughs a single guffaw.

"Yeah," after washing my body I grab my shampoo and suds up my hair.

"You ever just wanna kill someone so bad that you have to leave the room before you do it?"

I rinse the soap from my hair.

"Of course you have, you work here. God, I could fuckin' kill that drunk brute sometimes. Get this, last night he comes in to my room and he's tellin' me how much he loves and needs me and we, well, we, you know.." he trails off before continuing, "Any way, tonight he just comes in and tells me to take my clothes off! No kissin', no foreplay, no nothin'! And when I refuse he starts callin' me an ungrateful little wank and a stupid little git! What the fuck man? I give him my whole, well, everything and this is the way he repays me? God, I can't believe that man! You know, you're lucky, you don't have to deal with any of this romance shit. You're your own man and I really respect that, ya know?" the water in his shower turns off. "Thanks for talking with me, man, I feel a lot better,"

"Yeah," I rinse the conditioner from my hair. I listen to him leave and then turn the water off in my stall. I look into the mirror again. Thick purple scars run down my neck and across my thin shoulders. "Yeah, 'ucky," I turn with a sigh and dry myself off.

Mr. Pinky-Hooves is waiting for me when I get back to my room. I quickly change into my red fluffy pajamas with matching fleece gloves and cuddle up with Mr. Pinky-Hooves. I turn on the TV and DVR and hit play on the newest episode of our favorite television program. Things were starting to get really good when a knock came on my door. I quickly pull on my mask, pause the television and tuck my feet under the covers of my bed.

"Hey, mate, can we talk?" the sniper's voice was soft as if he was trying not to be heard.

"Mum 'nm" I mumble through my mask. The sniper quickly slips into my room and closes the door.

"Thanks, Pyro, Scout told me you helped him out with Demo so I figured maybe I could get your opinion on something," he looked uncomfortable. I quickly turn away from him and slip on my pink bunny slippers. I know he's looking at me but I'm not really paying attention. I grab Mr. Pinky-Hooves and run up to the down trodden man, shoving the pink plush unicorn into his face. He begrudgingly takes the unicorn and then looks at me like I am crazy. "Uh, thanks, uh, mate," I run back to the bed. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed and distractedly plays with Mr. Pinky-Hooves' ears.

"So, uh, I've been casually seeing someone and I think I would like to take things to the next level but I don't really know how exactly to, uh, ask?" oh, boy. "I mean, he, she, oh bloody hell, um… well any way, I want to do something really special but I'm worried that he won't say yes because, well, he's rather fancy and all that," he trailed off before looking up at me. "What do you think I should do?"

I cocked my head to one side.

"Mumph mun phu mumph num mu," he didn't get any of that.

"I'm going to flat out tell you right now that I don't understand a single thing you say, mate," Sniper looks at me with an 'I'm sorry' look. I nod my head. I get that a lot. I snap my fingers and grab a pad of drawing paper and a pencil from my desk. I flip through the book and find a sketch of the sniper and show it to him. Then I flipped through the book and find a sketch of the spy and show it to him. This one causes him to turn bright red and lower his eyes. Then I turn to a picture of the two of them having dinner in the cafeteria together.

"Do you draw a lot?"

I nod my head

"Huh, okay, so dinner in the mess?"

I shake my head and turn to a clean page. I quickly sketch out a table with a checkered cloth and candles. Next I draw plates with fancy covers and scribble 'French Food' with an arrow pointing to the lids. Then I draw the two of them sitting at the table. I show him my rough sketch.

"So, something romantic with food from his country?"

I nod.

"That's great! I'll make him his favorite food and we'll have dinner in the rec room with candles and fancy music! Only… he won't think I'm treating him like a girl will he?"

I tap my pencil, to what would be my lip, in thought. When an idea hits me I turn the page and draw a campfire and a picnic basket with the two of them on either side. A smile crosses his lips when I show it to him.

"That's great! He won't sit on the ground, but that'll be great!"

I drop my pencil and clap in excitement.

"Thanks a lot mate! Here's your friend back," he very gently hands me Mr. Pinky-Hooves as he stands to leave. He opens the door but hesitates and looks back to me, "If you decide to finish that campfire sketch could I maybe buy if off ya?"

I look down and then back at the sniper. I nod my head slowly. A grin spreads across the Aussie's stubble covered face and then he's gone.

I pull my mask and gloves off to take a better look at the sketch. I've decided that it can be salvaged. I hit play on the DVR and set to work finishing the drawing. I've decided to change a few things. The spy was seated in a chair against the van with the sniper reclining against his tummy between his knees. Spy has his hand in Sniper's hair and they both look very content all while watching the fire burn.

I was finishing the final touches when another knock came on my door. I didn't want to put my gloves back on over my graphite covered hands but I didn't want to avoid the visitor. What if there was trouble? I sighed and pulled on the gloves, mask and slippers. Another, louder knock came. I hurriedly hopped out of bed and shoved the sketch pad into the desk before plodding over to the door.

I barely opened the door a foot before Heavy pushed his way in. On entry he accidently shoved me to the floor, knocking my mask sideways. I fumble with the headgear, trying to get it back on straight. A second later I can feel the heavy pulling me to my feet and twisting my mask around. I could see! But I immediately regretted it.

Tears were streaming down his face and snot was dripping from his nose. The poor guy was a total mess! I put my arm around his shoulders as best I can and walk him to my bed to sit down.

"Oh, Little Fire Man, why is Doctor so cruel?" a sob wracks the heavy's body and he buries his face in his hands.

I rub his back as he cries but I have no idea what to do. I reach around him and grab Mr. Pinky-Hooves. He always makes me happy when I'm sad. I show him to the heavy, who immediately grabs the stuffed unicorn and flops onto his stomach to cry into my pillow and snuggle Mr. Pinky-Hooves. I start gently massaging his back and shoulders as he cries. After a while his sobs turn into whimpers and sniffles.

Before long he sits up and looks at me. He looks the mess. I pull him to my chest for a hug and rest my masked cheek on his bald head. His large burly, muscular arms pull me tighter against him and he snuggls his cheek into my belly.

"Fire man's pajamas are soft, cuddly," his hands are stroking my lower back. I feel… strange. The proximity of our bodies is comforting but his hands make me uneasy. I feel one slip down to my backside and then quickly move back up. I go tense. Heavy doesn't seem to notice, he just continues to fondle my pjs.

"Little Fire Man, sleep here tonight may I?" I raise my head to look down at him. His big, baby blue eyes look back at me, pleading. I relent and nod my head yes. His reply is shoving me away and running from the room. He turns back excitedly, "I get bed clothes. Be back in few minutes," with that he slams my door.

I sit back on my heels and consult with Mr. Pinky-Hooves. He just stares back at me with those blank, black eyes. Oh, Mr. Pinky-Hooves, you always give the best advice. I plug in my happy sunshine night light and turn off the over head before crawling into bed. When I hear the next knock I mumble something that _I_ don't even understand. I was expecting Heavy so when Engie opened the door, nearly naked, I bolted up right.

"Hey, Py, you got anything that might work as a lube? We ran outa' the medical stuff Doc gave us and the mechanical stuff doesn't work too well fer that sorta thing," the engineer was out of breath and his shorts were tighter than they should have been. I had no idea what he meant by 'lube'. I crawled out of bed and over to my closet. Sitting on the top shelf of a small book case full of drawing pads was a bottle of burn lotion. I grabbed the bottle and trudged over to Engie. "Thanks Py, you're a real life saver," I nodded and the engineer left.

By the time the Heavy wandered in I was already drifting off to sleep. He crawled in behind me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. Mr. Pinky-Hooves told me that he wanted to be snuggled between both of us so I turned to face Heavy and sandwiched him between us.

"Why is Little Fire Man wearing mask?" Heavy poked the mask with one large finger, "I never see Little Fire Man's face. Must be uncomfortable for little man to sleep in mask,"

I look quizzically at him. I don't take off the mask for anyone but Mr. Pinky-Hooves, the doctor and my psychiatrist. His hand grabs one of the respirator filters of my mask and looks to me for permission. I don't know why but I nod my head. He gently pulls the respirator mask up. I close my eyes and brace against the resulting disgust and outcry but it never comes. Instead I feel the warm brush of large fingers caress the scar on my up turned cheek. I open one eye to look at him. He's looking at me with concern in his eyes. Does he actually care?

"What is happened to Fire Man?" Heavy's voice is laden with concern.

I couldn't talk. I was hoping the bed would swallow me up but that never happens the way you want it to.

"Never knew Little Fire Man was blond under mask. Little Fire Man has precious face. Scars look like bad time. Is why Fire Man hides?" his hand cups my face. I close my eyes and nod. "Is not bad as you think. Scars are sexy in way," I look up at him. His eyes were soft with appreciation. "Little Fire Man deserves something nice," I continue looking at him. I don't really understand what's going on. I feel his fingers slide to the back of my head and secure themselves in my hair. His face moved closer to mine and his lips pressed against my own. I knew what this was but not what to do. His tongue brushed my lips and I opened my lips to him in response. His tongue brushed the nub of mine. He gently broke the kiss. "Fire Man has no tongue?" I lower my eyes in embarrassment. "Is okay," his voice is reassuring. "Little Fire Man, I am glad you let me stay. Doktor wanted cut me open. I say no. He cut me open last night and night before. Chest hurt too bad. He not care. All Doktor man want is satisfaction of his own. I say no and he tell me to get out of infirmary. I know not where to go so I come here. Is good I come here. I like Little Fire Man," he brushed my cheek with his thumb. "I am done with Doktor. I tell him so as I leave. I no longer get pushed around by mean Doktor man. I am own man now," he smiles at me. "Own sleepy man. Good night, Fire Man," his eyes close slowly and his hands slide to Mr. Pinky-Hooves' tummy.

"Goo' 'ight," I mumble as I fall into my own sleep.

**Prologue**

Ever since that night things have been… different. I kind of like it better this way. Everyone seems so happy.

Sniper proposed to Spy. It was strange at first. All the other guys stared at the huge engagement ring for a while, but they did finally get used to it. I had known that something was going to happen nearly a week before it did. I will admit that I wasn't expecting an engagement when the sniper came to my room but I was far too overjoyed to say anything about it. I did make an effort to put the sketch of them from that night in a frame and pass it along to Sniper, free of charge against his pleas. I told him it was an engagement gift though I don't think he understood.

Scout and Demo seemed to be more of a couple and less dysfunctional. The demoman was drinking less and being more affectionate while our little scout was using fewer derogative words and more open to the fact that they are a homosexual biracial couple. I even saw them flirt in the cafeteria like a real couple one day.

I never did get my burn lotion back from Engie and Solly. Of course I'm not really sure I want it back but I must admit that, that bottle was rather expensive. Oh well, they eat dinner with me sometimes now. They're nice in their own little way.

The doc and Heavy are over for good. The medic has found himself a new plaything in the captured enemy spy's head that he was keeping alive in the fridge. Heavy and I were becoming closer. I'm not a hundred percent sure what our relationship is becoming but what matters is that we're going at a pace we both find comfortable. We talk a lot. It was hard at first with the whole only having half a tongue thing but we're getting better. Every Saturday he comes to my room and the three of us, Mr. Pinky-Hooves included, watch My Little Pony and hang out. It feels so good to not have to hide anymore. I don't wear my mask, gloves or slippers when he's with me.

I don't need them.


End file.
